Sorry it's been so long since the last entry. I wanted to wait until my nutrisystem food showed up for the month. Anyway, I'm sick which is actually making things easier, because I'm not as hungry. So score one for a chest cold i guess.
So last month didn't go so well, but that is the past. This month is a welcomed new beginning. Well since I'm not feeling to good, I will leave it at that for now. Thanks as always for all the love and support.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Transmission #013
Sorry it's been a few days guys. Just haven't been in a writing mood. I found out on Friday, that over the last 3 weeks, I have lost 1lb. The good news is, I know what I did wrong so I can change it. Also, I cheated again. I had a burger. But again, there is a bright side: afterwards, I felt like crap. I felt bloated and disgusting. Like I got shot in the ass with a tranquilizer dart. This taught me the difference in feeling between eating well, and eating like I used to. It reinforced the fact that if I want to feel good, I have to eat well.
So yes, I am dissapointed in myself. But tommorow is another day. I can do this. I WILL do this. As always, I thank you all for the love and support.
So yes, I am dissapointed in myself. But tommorow is another day. I can do this. I WILL do this. As always, I thank you all for the love and support.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Transmission #012
Well I'm almost one month into the diet, and I have my second weigh-in tomorrow. I must admit, I am pretty nervous. I know I made some mistakes since the last one, and I'm just hoping that it doesn't reflect TO much in the numbers. However, I have prepared myself for less than great news. I know that whatever the number is, that's what it is. Whats done is done. Learn and move on. You must remember that when you change your lifestyle this drastically, you might slip up from time to time. It isn't the end of the world. I have realized recently, that the only mistakes, are the things you don't learn from.
Well I guess that's all for now. So again, I love you all, and words cannot express my appreciation for your love and support. Thanks for reading!
Well I guess that's all for now. So again, I love you all, and words cannot express my appreciation for your love and support. Thanks for reading!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Transmission #011
Sorry I've been gone a few days. Just wasn't in a writing mood. Anyway, I unfortunantly fell off the wagon this passed weekend. However, after reading some stuff on the Nutrisystem website, I have picked myself up, and I am back on track. This little detour has been discouraging, but I realized that these things will happen from time to time. I just need to move on and rededicate myself to health.
On a more positive note, my blood pressure has remained normal. This is the longest that this has happened in at least a year, so it makes me pretty happy. Remember guys: celebrate small victories. When your building your temple, realize the triumph of each brick as it is layed.
As always, thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the love and support.
On a more positive note, my blood pressure has remained normal. This is the longest that this has happened in at least a year, so it makes me pretty happy. Remember guys: celebrate small victories. When your building your temple, realize the triumph of each brick as it is layed.
As always, thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the love and support.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Transmission #010
Today has been rough.Feeling the hunger in full force. I'm tired. Im weak...I am growing impatient. This is week three, and I still feel hungry ALL THE TIME. Here's what sucks: If you want to quit smoking, you have the patch, the gum, and a pill. what do you have if you want to stop over eating? Water. As you might imagine...water ain't cuttin' it. If anyone has any tips on comtrolling hunger, PLEASE post them in the comment section.
Well my mind is racing at the moment so I apoligize for this entry being so short, and not very well written. And as always, I thank you all for the love and support.
ps. If you would all be so kind and get the word out about the blog, I would really appreciate it. Part of why I'm writing this blog is to help other people in a similar situation, so the more the word is spread, the better.
Well my mind is racing at the moment so I apoligize for this entry being so short, and not very well written. And as always, I thank you all for the love and support.
ps. If you would all be so kind and get the word out about the blog, I would really appreciate it. Part of why I'm writing this blog is to help other people in a similar situation, so the more the word is spread, the better.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Transmission #009: Music to Inspire
This chorus has become my anthem. Im posting it in hope that it speaks to others in a similar situation
Transmission #008
Todays tips are borrowed from all the 12 step programs:
First, take it one day at a time. Say to yourself, "TODAY I will eat right, and exercise". This will break down your diet into smaller, easier to reach goals, as opposed to the daunting goal of "I will eat right, and exercise every day for the rest of my life".
Also, if you fall off the wagon, DONT beat yourself up. All this will do is make you feel bad, and if your an emotional eater like I am, will cause you to continue over eating. If you fall, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start again. It doesnt make you a bad person or a weak person. It makes you human.
Finally, find a support system. find at least one or two people that you can call at any time when you are feeling like veering off the path. Find people that can support you with words of encouragement. I know personally, that without all my amazing friends, and incredible family supporting me in this, I would have allready quit.
So, I hope these tips help you guys, and as always, I thank you SO much for reading this and for your undying support in this journey. I couldn't do it without you.
First, take it one day at a time. Say to yourself, "TODAY I will eat right, and exercise". This will break down your diet into smaller, easier to reach goals, as opposed to the daunting goal of "I will eat right, and exercise every day for the rest of my life".
Also, if you fall off the wagon, DONT beat yourself up. All this will do is make you feel bad, and if your an emotional eater like I am, will cause you to continue over eating. If you fall, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start again. It doesnt make you a bad person or a weak person. It makes you human.
Finally, find a support system. find at least one or two people that you can call at any time when you are feeling like veering off the path. Find people that can support you with words of encouragement. I know personally, that without all my amazing friends, and incredible family supporting me in this, I would have allready quit.
So, I hope these tips help you guys, and as always, I thank you SO much for reading this and for your undying support in this journey. I couldn't do it without you.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Transmission #007
Good news today: My blood pressure has been normal for the last two days! This is the first time in at least a year that this has happened. I have acheived this by obviously reducing my caloric intake, and also, by keeping my daily sodium intake to the lowest amount I can. No more than 2g a day.
This has reminded me of somthing very important. This is not just about losing weight. it's about getting healthy. It's about surviving. The days of "I wanna look good in my bathing suit" are over.
It's also very motivating to know that in a matter of less than two weeks, my body is allready healthier. The best advice I can give to any fellow dieter is this: savor, and celebrate the small victories. Every pound you lose is a step closer to the goal of a better life. Every point your blood pressure drops, is a victory. I dont care if you need to lose 20lbs, or 200. Celebrate every step of the way. A win, is a win
As always, I thank you all for reading. Your support means more than I could ever express.
This has reminded me of somthing very important. This is not just about losing weight. it's about getting healthy. It's about surviving. The days of "I wanna look good in my bathing suit" are over.
It's also very motivating to know that in a matter of less than two weeks, my body is allready healthier. The best advice I can give to any fellow dieter is this: savor, and celebrate the small victories. Every pound you lose is a step closer to the goal of a better life. Every point your blood pressure drops, is a victory. I dont care if you need to lose 20lbs, or 200. Celebrate every step of the way. A win, is a win
As always, I thank you all for reading. Your support means more than I could ever express.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Transmission #006
First off, I wanna wish all the moms out there a very happy mothers day. I'm lucky enough to have two moms, and they are the greatest mom's in the world.
Unfortunantly, part of mother's day, at least for my family is (cue ominus music) THE BUFFET BRUNCH...This year we went to The Embassy Suites. The buffet had everything a man could want:prime rib, pork loin, amazing desserts...I allowed myself to eat two things: 1 omlet with bell peppers and tomatoes, and fruit. I was alive with pleasure. A few tips for you beautiful people following my drivel: 1. Recruit a scout to survey the buffet, and report back to you on the location of the healthy food (this will be a short conversation). This will allow you to go directly to this food, thus bypassing everything else. 2. Focus on your plate. ONLY your plate. Pay no attention to the giant, cheese filled omlet or the hubcap of prime rib being enjoyed by "the others". Finally, Eat slowly...really slowly...slow enough that people actually comment on it. This will allow you to not only enjoy your bland eggs, but it also lets you stay on the same plate of food for the entirety of the meal.
Anyway, I hope these tips help you in case you encounter a similar situation. Thanks, as always, for all your support.
Unfortunantly, part of mother's day, at least for my family is (cue ominus music) THE BUFFET BRUNCH...This year we went to The Embassy Suites. The buffet had everything a man could want:prime rib, pork loin, amazing desserts...I allowed myself to eat two things: 1 omlet with bell peppers and tomatoes, and fruit. I was alive with pleasure. A few tips for you beautiful people following my drivel: 1. Recruit a scout to survey the buffet, and report back to you on the location of the healthy food (this will be a short conversation). This will allow you to go directly to this food, thus bypassing everything else. 2. Focus on your plate. ONLY your plate. Pay no attention to the giant, cheese filled omlet or the hubcap of prime rib being enjoyed by "the others". Finally, Eat slowly...really slowly...slow enough that people actually comment on it. This will allow you to not only enjoy your bland eggs, but it also lets you stay on the same plate of food for the entirety of the meal.
Anyway, I hope these tips help you in case you encounter a similar situation. Thanks, as always, for all your support.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Transmission #005
Today is a good day. Great mood, great stuff on T.V., im getting tons of support from friends and family, AND the woman I love finally told me she loves me. This really helps put things into perspective. I have a deeper understanding of why I'm doing this. I'm doing this, because I want to live. To live the life I am entitled to. One of love, excitment, and joy. I want a relationship. To not only love, but to BE loved.
I now know that breathing does not mean you are alive. It simply means you are not dead. To live, one must open their eyes. Embrace fear with the ferocity of a man insane, and swan dive into the beautiful void of uncertainty. This is it. The time is now. NOTHING tastes better than freedom. I can do this. I will do this.
I now know that breathing does not mean you are alive. It simply means you are not dead. To live, one must open their eyes. Embrace fear with the ferocity of a man insane, and swan dive into the beautiful void of uncertainty. This is it. The time is now. NOTHING tastes better than freedom. I can do this. I will do this.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Transmission #004
This starving, weak, and tired thing better stop soon, or I dont know what I'm gonna do. All the little tips and tricks people have given me have failed. "drink alot of water". Still hungry, less thirsty. "Chew gum". Jaw hurts, still hungry. "Go for a walk". Can't yet. Ill be vollunteering for Arizona Bridge for Independent Living as soon as I can, but it may be awhile, so what do I do until then? Sit in front of the computer and just be hungry? A man can only read for so long.
Transmission #003
Decided to post some quotes I have been, and will be keeping in mind throughout my journey.
"Life is full of choices, if you have the guts to go for it." - Henry Rollins
"I believe one defines onself by reinvention" - Henry Rollins
"The average is the borderline that keeps mere men in their place. Those who step over the line, are heroes by the very act. Go. - Henry Rollins
"Keep your blood clean, your body lean, and your mind sharp" - Henry Rollins
"Want a good body? Work at it. Want to be a success? Work at it. Want to be truly exceptional? Be a touch insane...You need a little bit of insanity to do great things." - Henry Rollins
"We are what we repeatadly do. Excellence, therfore, is not an act, but a habit" - Aristotle
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time you fall" - Confucious
"Lots of things that couldnt be done, have been done before" - Charles Auston Bates
"
"Life is full of choices, if you have the guts to go for it." - Henry Rollins
"I believe one defines onself by reinvention" - Henry Rollins
"The average is the borderline that keeps mere men in their place. Those who step over the line, are heroes by the very act. Go. - Henry Rollins
"Keep your blood clean, your body lean, and your mind sharp" - Henry Rollins
"Want a good body? Work at it. Want to be a success? Work at it. Want to be truly exceptional? Be a touch insane...You need a little bit of insanity to do great things." - Henry Rollins
"We are what we repeatadly do. Excellence, therfore, is not an act, but a habit" - Aristotle
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time you fall" - Confucious
"Lots of things that couldnt be done, have been done before" - Charles Auston Bates
"
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Transmission #002
Day seven of operation "Live to See 30", sponsored by Nutrisystem. Still struggling quite a bit. Going through the food faster than I should be, but still hitting under 2000 calories a day, and about 25 grams of fat. Im going to the doctor today, so I plan on having my first weigh-in while there. I dont know what I'm going to do if I am not below 375lbs.
Later that day...well, went to the DR. today, and...I lost 6 pounds in the last week. I was hoping for 10, but it's a start.
Later that day...well, went to the DR. today, and...I lost 6 pounds in the last week. I was hoping for 10, but it's a start.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Transmission #001
Closing in on week number one of mission "live to see thirty", sponsored by Nutrisystem. I'm not going to lie: this is tough...really tough. Transitioning from several thousand calories a day to about 1500 is, to put it lightly, a challange. I'm honestly not very optimistic right now. Im tired, I feel weak, and I'm hungry. Sometimes, I just wish I could start over. Assume a new body; a blank canvas, and just try again to not put myself in a situation where premature death is a very real possibility.
I feel dissapointed. Both in myself, and in a society with values that foster the lifestyle I have led up to this point. While I take FULL responsibility for the physical condition I am in, I can't help but think that a country where fast, and cheap trumps quality, and health is one that breeds the current epidemic of obesity. Im disappointed in myself for letting it get this bad. I can't help but ask why I almost had to die before deciding to make a drastic change.
I realize now how I have squandered so many of the amazing oppertunities I have been given. My entire family has been incredibly supportive my entire life. They are even paying for the Nutrisystem program that I'm currently on. Realizing all they have done for me, I am left with an overwellming feeling of guilt and depression. I'm an exceedingly lucky to have the support I have had my whole life, and I have done nothing to deserve it. Whats even worse, their effort fell on deaf, and ungrateful ears.
So here I am. 25 years old, 380 lbs, Im unemployed, and I live in a group home. This is not my life. This is the life of someone I have no respect for. A man of privlige, who has taken for granted, things that others only wish they had. I will change. I must change.
I feel dissapointed. Both in myself, and in a society with values that foster the lifestyle I have led up to this point. While I take FULL responsibility for the physical condition I am in, I can't help but think that a country where fast, and cheap trumps quality, and health is one that breeds the current epidemic of obesity. Im disappointed in myself for letting it get this bad. I can't help but ask why I almost had to die before deciding to make a drastic change.
I realize now how I have squandered so many of the amazing oppertunities I have been given. My entire family has been incredibly supportive my entire life. They are even paying for the Nutrisystem program that I'm currently on. Realizing all they have done for me, I am left with an overwellming feeling of guilt and depression. I'm an exceedingly lucky to have the support I have had my whole life, and I have done nothing to deserve it. Whats even worse, their effort fell on deaf, and ungrateful ears.
So here I am. 25 years old, 380 lbs, Im unemployed, and I live in a group home. This is not my life. This is the life of someone I have no respect for. A man of privlige, who has taken for granted, things that others only wish they had. I will change. I must change.
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